Brandon ([info]enigma00) wrote,
@ 2003-12-14 23:05:00
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Current mood: okay
Current music:Dream Theater - "A Change of Seasons"

The Words Stuck in My Mind...
Well hello.

Today was an interesting day. I worked from 10-530, with Melissa, and that was good, if boring.

However, the real interesting part begins with my first 15 minute break, during which I ended up talking to s!Sara again. And again, on my lunch break, when I ran into her again, and we ate lunch together - again.

What a temptress. I swear, she does it just to taunt me.

Okay, not really, but still. It kills me inside to have to sit there, and talk to this beautiful girl, knowing that I won't have the chance to date her or be anything more to her than "that nice guy at work that I talk to and sometimes eat with".

Then again, I mean...I have thought about my reasons for my feelings for her. And I think they are purely physical. My emtional feelings for her are displaced, a reflection of my feelings for someone else.

However, since any relationship with that someone else is impossible at this point, my feelings get focused on attractive, nice girls.

Why can't this be simpler?

Seriously, not to be egotistic or anything, but WHY would she say no to me? I don't think I'm a bad guy....so either she's a lesbian, or she really doesn't want a relationship.

But I doubt that. Who actually SAYS that, without it being a cover for something else?

What do you think guys, should I talk to her about this? Or am I wasting my time?

Or should I just suck it up, and wait until things with "that other someone" is possible.

But that's unfair to me, and more importantly, to her. And to s!Sara, if I were to ever date her. Becuase I know my feelings for her right now aren't for her. At least I don't think so. They are my displaced feelings for someone else.

Ack, this is confusing.

Some help, please?

Cheers.

Advice, Help? HELP ME DAMMIT!

Cheers.


(6 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]thorswitch
2003-12-15 01:34 pm UTC (link)
You really answered your own question with your observation that it wouldn't really be fair to either of you. Generally, when you're in a situation like that, it's pretty obvious to the other person that they're just a stand-in until the real thing becomes available - and that's a hard think to live with.

I know it's tempting - I've been in your shoes before, but I've also been on the other side of it, too. I would really advise against doing anything unless you start having some real feelings for s!Sara. You'll both be the better for it in the long run. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]enigma00
2003-12-15 04:13 pm UTC (link)
Well, even if I wanted to date Sara, it's not like I even could. She already said she "doesn't want a relationship" or whatever, so I'm pretty much stuck with things as they are.

Which makes me mad, because my teenage boy hormones are telling me to jump all over her...lol...

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]wisegal
2003-12-15 06:38 pm UTC (link)
It's only natural to be attracted to attractive girls... I mean, it's the first thing you notice. About her not wanting a relationship, yeah, there's either a good reason why or it's a cover for something else. BUT, if I were you, I wouldn't pursue her and talk to her about why she doesn't want a relationship if you really don't want to go out with her... I mean, most likely her reasons are personal and it's not fair to her, if you try to dig that out of her in hopes of her going out with you WITH your feelings displaced for someone else. If your feelings aren't for her right now then you shouldn't go for it. If you do, chances are, you'll end up hurting her and/or yourself.

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[info]enigma00
2003-12-15 07:40 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, you're right...it's just that it kind of makes me mad that there is this attractive, amazing girl, and I can't be with her, becuase of my own feelings for someone else, and becuase she doesn't want it.

Not that I ever want those feelings for her to go away...it's just that sometimes they tend to hinder some other things...but I think that in the long run, I'll be better off...

..or I'll have wasted part of my life chasing a dream.

At this point, I have no clue either way.

But, you're right. I'll continue with things as they are with Sara, and change nothing. It's for the best, anyway.

Thanks so much for your help, Kori. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]wisegal
2003-12-15 08:42 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, that really sucks... especially since she doesn't want a relationship.

You may be expecting too much again. I'd say just let things happen and see how it turns out. Who knows, your feelings may go away for the other person and things may work out for you and this girl. It's a cliche, but if it's meant to happen, it'll happen. If not, it's okay, you'll still be great friends with her.

No prob. Good luck with all that and glad to be of help :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]enigma00
2003-12-15 11:10 pm UTC (link)
True...I always expect too much.

I'll just let it be for now, like you said. So now I guess only time will tell.

Thanks again! :)

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